Real Men Wear Pink
by Kuroo
Summary: Being forced to do the laundry is no laughing matter, unless your name is Dante. 1D2D (Dante 1 x Dante 2 selfcest).


Dante sat in his chair with a magazine covering his face, pretending to be asleep as usual while his legs rested on top of the desk's surface in front of him, crossed at the ankles, when the sound of footsteps quickly moving down the staircase intruded on his solitude. They came to an abrupt halt in front at the other side of the desk.

"Care to explain this?" the older man standing in front of the desk asked in a gruff sounding voice, demanding some attention from his other self.

The young devil hunter slowly raised his hand and removed the magazine from his face to raise a questioning eyebrow. Before he could do that, however, he was greeted by some sort of clothing thrown at his face. He tossed the magazine onto the desk to reach out for whatever had just landed in his face and realised that it was a pink tank top when he took a closer look.

"It's a tank top, so don't blame me that it doesn't have any sleeves." He smirked while throwing it back at the other man, giving himself the opportunity to catch a glimpse of him.

The older Dante stood shirtless in front of the desk, wearing a pair of light-blue denim jeans while he carried a lime-green leather jacket in the crook of his arm. An angry expression appeared on his already stern face, making him look like he was about to grab the younger man roughly by his vest and pull him over the desk any second.

"Don't play dumb!" he hissed furiously. "Look at the colour, you idiot! It was white and now it's suddenly pink, so what have you done?"

The young man slowly pulled his numb legs from the desk's surface, deliberately letting his feet hit the floor hard to feel the tingling sensation traveling up all the way to his hip.

"I have done absolutely nothing!" He threw his arms up in self-defence while leaning further back into the chair.

"The only thing I did was take care of the laundry like you told me to." He paused for a second before he corrected the last words of his sentence. "Or should I say _forced_ me, _again_?"

The older man just stood there and remained silent for a moment, narrowing his eyes at the younger man while he tried to restrain himself from not pitching a fit. The tip of his right shoe impatiently tapping on the hard wooden floor was the only outward sign of his inner turmoil.

"I've told you so many times already not to throw any kind of red clothing into the laundry while washing whites. Hell, I even put a note with instructions on the washing machine, just for you in case you forget them again, and yet you still put the reds in along with them."

Dante couldn't suppress a chuckle at the sight of his older self, standing in front of the desk waving the pink tank top in his hand around while he spoke. He looked ridiculous.

He must've caught on because he stopped waving the top around and just stared at his younger self before he asked sarcastically, "Oh you think that's funny, don't you?"

"Let's see if you have a brilliant explanation for why all of them are pink now." He huffed angrily, waving his hand one more time at his younger self. "Let me ask you one more time: Why are all of my former _white_ tank tops suddenly pink now?"

The young man laughed out loud when he failed to raise his hand fast enough to cover his mouth.

"Did you just say _all of them_?" he asked teasingly while still shaking heavily from his laughter. "That sounds more like some devil played a practical joke on you. A really good one, I might add."

The older man just remained silent, a menacing look on his face while his left eyebrow twitched slightly. Then he resigned himself to his fate and slipped the pink tank top over his head. At this point he just wanted to get away from the other man as fast and far as possible before he became entirely unable to control his rage for much longer.

"I always knew that real men wear pink!" the younger Dante winked at him while he carried on mocking his partner for his new attire. His older self quickly put on the lime-green leather jacket, pulling the zipper up all the way in a futile attempt to hide the embarrassing girlish colour as much as possible.

The older Dante just gave him one last cold stare before he turned around on his heel and quickly stormed out of the office.

"Have a nice day, darling!" the younger one yelled after him on his way out. "Since you're heading out to do some grocery shopping, get me one of those thank you cards, will ya? I really want to thank the demon who played that practical joke on you for the good laugh I had."

He grinned broadly when the older Dante was finally out of sight. He put his legs back up on the desk's top and grabbed the magazine again to occupy himself with for the moment. At least until the other man returned home. Then he'd tease him even more for his new, fashionable pink clothing.

* * *

><p>The older Dante returned two hours later, carrying two paper bags in one arm while holding a pizza carton with his other free hand. He walked towards the desk and stopped, eyeing the other man for a bit to make sure he was actually asleep, before letting the pizza carton drop onto the desktop with a loud bang to wake him up. The younger man winced and jumped up slightly in his chair at the sudden noise, quickly pulling the magazine from his face to locate the source for the disturbance.<p>

"Welcome home, honey!" He greeted the other man in a sugary sweet voice before he flipped back the lid of the pizza carton. "Made any new friends while being out who share your sense of fashion?"

Dante tried to pretend that he hadn't heard the last sentence while he made his way into the kitchen to store some of the bags' contents into the fridge and cupboards. He walked back into the office once he'd finished the task. When he passed the desk again, the younger devil hunter noticed that he was still carrying one paper bag in his arm.

"What's in the bag?" he asked cheerfully while grabbing another slice of pizza. "I hope for your sake you actually bought me one of those thank you cards that I asked you for."

"Tank tops." He stood still and hesitated for a second before he added peevishly, "White tank tops." Then he hurried over to the staircase to head into the bedroom.

"Stylish!" the younger man yelled after him. He took another bite of his pizza while he continued, "Just give them to me so I can wash them for you. As you know, I only take special jobs." Much to his disappointment, the other man had already left the room to vanish into the bedroom, putting him out of earshot to hear his last sentence.

* * *

><p>The older devil hunter returned back to the office after taking a hot shower, wearing his usual outfit now. He headed down the stairs and came to stop next to the chair which was still occupied by the younger man. He gave no sign of getting up any time soon, but shifted his attention to the older man standing next to him immediately.<p>

"I hope the shower actually worked and cooled you off a bit." he said mockingly.

"Get out of my chair," the other man demanded coldly.

"Hey, this is my chair, too! Besides, the couch is a lot more comfortable at your age," the younger man protested in a childish manner.

"It's my chair as well and you already spent half of the day sitting around in it. Now get your ass out of it!" he insisted.

Dante pulled his legs off the wooden desk and slowly got up to his feet. "I only sat in it for half the day so I could warm it up for you," the younger devil hunter remarked with a smirk on his lips as the older man sat down in it and flung his legs onto the desk's surface.

"Where's that cute pink tank top?" he teased while standing next to the chair. "Can't handle it that you're even more handsome by wearing it?"

"Get out of my sight," the older man answered gruffly while he grabbed a slice of the by now cold pizza.

The young man just stood there for a few seconds, staring at his other self while being lost for words for once in his life. He felt a sudden lump build up in his throat at the sound of the icy remark, making him unable to say anything in return. He decided to give the other man some time to himself to hopefully calm down a bit and began his slow retreat into the bathroom to take a long shower himself.

After a while, the older Dante could hear the faint sounds of running water from the upstairs bathroom. He leaned further back in the chair, grabbed a magazine from the desk and grinned deviously when he covered his face with it. This would help him to pretend being asleep. After all, he knew perfectly well that the other man would return sooner rather than later.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for a loud cry to echo throughout the upper level of the building shortly after the sound of running water had stopped. It was quickly followed by the sound of rapid footsteps moving quickly down the stairs, coming to an abrupt stop right next to the chair.<p>

The magazine was pulled away from Dante's face without further notice, forcing him to open his eyes and glance at his younger self while he raised a questioning eyebrow. The other man glared furiously at him, still wet and only wearing a pair of black boxer shorts while a towel was covering his dripping wet hair.

"Is there a problem?" he asked without shifting his glance away from the other man's face.

"You bastard!" the younger devil hunter growled angrily.

"This is all your doing, isn't it?" he hastily brought his hand up to his head and pulled away the towel that had covered his wet hair. What he revealed wasn't his natural white hair colour; instead his entire hair was sporting a brand new pink.

The older man raised a hand up to his face, using his trigger finger to tap it slightly against his lips while he frowned.

"Hm, I think I'm having a slight déjà vu. Could it be that your hair was white and suddenly turned pink after washing it?" he asked with a smirk on his lips.

"You did this just to avenge your tank tops?!" the younger Dante cried out indignantly.

"Who knows?" the other man replied, shrugging his shoulder as he got up from the chair to take a closer look at the other man's hair. "At least I can tell that every single strand of your hair is now pink."

The younger devil hunter just stared back at him with a shocked and horrified expression on his face while the other man sat down on the edge of the desk.

"To be honest, it looks more like some devil played a practical joke on you." He paused for a brief moment before he added, "I have to point out that this is a brilliant one. I think I should get one of those thank you cards and send it to whoever played the practical joke on you to thank him for the exhilarating sight of this."

Young Dante was too baffled and shocked to say anything while he moved over to the chair and sat down. Instead of putting up his legs on the desk like he usually did, he leaned forward until his forehead rested on the desk's top.

The older man brought his hand to his thigh, reaching into the empty holster with two of his fingers. He pulled out a thank you card and flipped it skilfully over right next to the man's head on the desk.

The younger one of them didn't bother to look up or even say a single word. He remained silent instead. Older Dante began to run his longer fingers through the hair, gently pulling up a wet strand between them and eyeing it thoughtfully.

"I know that devils may cry but you aren't crying, are you?" he asked while he played with the strand of pink hair between his fingers. When the young man didn't answer his question after a while, he decided to stop toying around with the wet strand and slid his hand towards the other man's chin instead. He grabbed it firmly but still gently while he began to lift the head up from the desk surface to finally face the younger man.

The younger Dante had a hurt expression on his face when he got back into a sitting position and quickly turned his head away, not in the mood to face the other man sitting on the desk next to him. Since he still had a firm grip on his chin though, the older man softly pulled his head around again until he could finally get a glimpse at the young man's face. He leaned himself over to place a tender kiss on the younger devil hunter's forehead.

"You know, unlike all my pink tank tops, the pink colour of your hair isn't permanent. It'll wash out completely after a couple of hair washes." He paused to smirk at his younger counterpart. "Well, it'll actually be permanent for quite some time unless you get a new bottle of shampoo."

The youthful devil hunter sighed in relief as he heard that his pretty hair wasn't ruined for all eternity. Still, he wanted to know from the other man why he had to avenge his damn tank tops.

"Why did you do this?" he asked dryly.

"To be honest, I wanted to teach you a valuable lesson more than I wanted to avenge my tank tops. You mess with my stuff, I'm gonna mess with your stuff. You're going to spoil my mood, so I'm going to spoil yours as well. You hurt my feelings, I'm gonna hurt your feelings, too. You see? It's as simple as that."

Dante swallowed hard and nodded in agreement as he understood that his older self had a very good point, which didn't leave him any room to argue against it or even add a cocky remark.

"But why my hair?" he questioned the older man again.

"You don't have any white clothing at all to begin with, so that was the only option in my case to pay you back for what you've done to my tank tops." He couldn't help it and chuckled while eyeing the younger man next to him closely.

The young man brought a hand up to his head, running his fingers through his hair to pull out a wet strand, bringing it down over to his forehead to take a closer look at it. He sighed at the sight of it.

"I can't go out like this. If I do, my reputation of being a bad ass demon slayer will be ruined forever and…" His voice trailed off, causing the older man to raise an eyebrow in question.

"If any demons are going to see me like this, they're probably going to laugh themselves to death at the sight of my hair! Plus, I'm going to become the laughingstock of the underworld forever."

Older Dante laughed heartily at the explanation of why his younger self was so concerned about anyone seeing him running around slaying demons while his hair it was still pink.

"Demons laughing themselves to death at the sight of your hair? That doesn't actually sound bad at all!" he chuckled. "Just think about all the easy cash we could rake in while you stand around being surrounded by a bunch of demons laughing themselves straight back to hell. It's a win-win situation and we should definitely take advantage of it."

The younger one stared back at him with a horrified expression on his face. "You aren't serious about it, are you?"

"Maybe," he grinned at the other man before he carried on. "Honestly, I'm far more concerned about those demons starting to hit on you since you're now officially considered to be a real man," he teased as he ruffled his hand through the other man's wet hair.

"We might need to take some special precautions while hunting them down in the meantime since I don't want to share my man with anyone. After all, I'm the only devil who knows all the secret spots on your body, and I won't allow any of those suckers to get even close to them."

The older Dante pushed himself off the desk. He turned towards his younger counterpart to catch a firm hold of him before he gently pulled him out of the chair to his feet. The younger devil hunter looked at him with a slightly confused expression on his face when he felt the other man pull him even closer to hug him tightly. His hand trailed down along the other's backside only to playfully pinch the man's butt with his fingers.

Once he'd released the man in his arms from his tight grip, he noticed the soft blush spreading across the young man's cheeks, a result of his surprise at the unexpected sensation. Older Dante smiled in satisfaction.

He leaned in to place a soft kiss onto the younger Dante's warm cheek. "Pink really suits you, not only as a hair colour." He leaned in a bit closer and shifted his head aside to bring up his lips close to man's ear.

"I guess you were right," he whispered softly.

"Real men wear pink."


End file.
